This blog was originally posted on August 14, 2013 on the New Existentialist Blog. It was reposted here after the New Existentialist Blog was discontinued.
An article in the Huffington Post reported on a study demonstrating that no other country in the world places more of their citizens on arrest than the United States. While 716 per 100,000 people in the United States are incarcerated, the second highest number in any other country is 649 and only five other countries have more than 500 individuals per 100,000 incarcerated. Recently, we seem to be flooded with statistics similar to this. For instance, in December 2012, shortly after the Sandy Hook School Shooting, The Washington Post reported that there are significantly more gunrelated killings in the United States than any other developed country.
Photo by Louis Hoffman
These statistics are startling; however, they are just the beginning of the serious social issues that the United States is facing. We still have not closed down the Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp despite many reports of human rights violations. The United States has been involved in drone attacks in which civilians and children are being killed in other countries in alarming numbers. We still hear regular reports of hate crimes and have many White supremacist groups that remain active in the United States.
Yet, crime and violence are not the only prominent human rights shortcomings in the United States. We are lagging behind many countries in marriage equality. Women often still are paid less than men for the same work, and there is an increasing gap between the rich and the poor. Islamophobia and homophobia are too often accepted prejudices. Since Obama’s election as the first Black president, which did signify remarkable progress in terms of racial problems in the United States, we have also witnessed an increase in many forms of more overt racism. Our politicians, who should be role models, have lost the faith of our country due to partisan politics and behavior more reflective of dramatized reality TV shows than elected public office.
It is common for people in the United States to believe that we are morally superior to other countries. In particular, the United States has a strong international reputation for being quite judgmental of other countries about human rights violations. However, an honest look at the statistics quickly reveals that we should be cautious in becoming too smug.
The existential principle of zhi mian highlights the importance of facing oneself directly, honestly, and courageously. It can be quite beneficial to cultivate the practice on a cultural level as well as an individual level. In the United States, if we are going to authentically engage other countries about human rights issues with any credibility, we must first take a serious look at our own shortcomings. If we were to take seriously our own social issues, we might find that there is not much time left to be judgmental and condescending toward other countries.
I do not mean to suggest that we should not advocate on human rights issues internationally, but rather that we should do so more humbly. Also, if we are to authentically advocate for human rights issues and social justice in other countries, we must first take seriously the need to address human rights violations in our own country.
This blog was originally posted on October 23, 2013 on the New Existentialist Blog. It was republished here after the New Existentialist Blog was discontinued.
Recently I returned from a trip to China where I was asked to speak at a conference entitled “Buddha from the Heart: Humanistic Psychology Maitreya Culture.” Maitreya Buddhism is a lesser-known school of Buddhist thought originating in China, particularly connected with Maitreya Buddha (i.e., future Buddha). The focus of the conference was on ways in which humanistic psychology and Buddhism, particularly Maitreya Buddhism, can help the people of China. It was an exciting opportunity to dialogue about convergences between existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism, particularly related to how they each can positively impact the world.
Photo by Louis Hoffman, PhD
Context: Religion and Psychology
It is important to discuss this with a disclaimer. Neither the conference nor this blog are suggesting that existential-humanistic psychology is a Buddhist psychology. When talking about religions and psychology, it is important that we do not reduce one to the other. Also, while there may be a place for religious psychologies, I believe that it is vitally important that existential and humanistic psychology remain unattached to religion at the foundational level in order to work with clients from their own religious or spiritual framework instead of imposing our own.
At the same time, it is interesting that existential-humanistic psychology often appears to share a great deal with the spiritual and religious wisdom traditions. With Buddhism, there certainly are a number of interesting convergences.
Convergences
One important convergence is on suffering. Buddhism and existential-humanistic psychology view suffering as a given, not something that can easily be overcome or just coped with. Additionally, both recognize the value in suffering as well as other emotions that are uncomfortable. From Buddhist and existential-humanistic perspectives, our uncomfortable emotions and suffering are something for us to explore and learn from. There are even similarities in how individuals can learn from these emotions. It is important, however, not to reduce this into thinking that existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism approach suffering the same way or are in complete agreement.
Within Buddhism, there is a spiritual end where the eventual goal is to escape the cycle of suffering. However, this is something that one strives for over a lifetime or many lifetimes. In existential-humanistic psychology, the goal is to change one’s experience of suffering in order to transform the experience of suffering, increase one’s selfawareness, live more authentically in the face of suffering, and achieve personal growth.
Existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism both value the experiential realms. First, experience is understood as a valid way of knowing. In much of psychology, there is a strong rational bias and often a distrust of emotion and subjective experience. While existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism are not irrational or antiintellectual, they recognize that there is more than one valid way of knowing. Additionally, the growth and healing process is often understood as experiential in both existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism. One limits their growth and healing if growth and health are confined to the cognitive level and do not incorporate an experiential component.
Both value mindful awareness. I have, at times, been frustrated with the mindfulness craze in psychology. It’s not that I do not value what it has to offer, but rather that I think it is a distortion to think of this as something new. Existential psychology and other depth psychologies long have advocated for approaches quite similar to mindfulness long before mindfulness entered the psychology lexicon. Additionally, I also have some concern that mindfulness, as it originated in Buddhism, is quite different than the mindfulness that is often integrated into psychology today, particularly in the West. Despite these challenges, both existential psychology and Buddhism believe there is a value in a nonjudgmental or inquisitive awareness of one’s cognitive, emotional, and bodily experiences.
Last, both Buddhism and existentialhumanistic psychology are growth oriented and recognize human potential. Although there are many variations across the different approaches to Buddhism, there is rather consistent growth-oriented focus in which individuals, through selfdevelopment, attempt to continually grow and embrace their Buddha nature. Similarly, existential-humanistic psychology advocates toward helping individuals achieve their potential rather than focusing solely on overcoming problems.
Conclusion
This post has just touched upon some of the convergences of existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism. Each of these convergences could be fleshed out in much greater detail and others could be added. While there is much to learn from being in dialogue, it is also important to take seriously the differences, particularly as both seek different ends. When only the convergences are considered, then distortion and false agreement will ensue. Through dialogue, I am confident that both Buddhism and existential-humanistic psychology can grow and advance. For existential-humanistic psychology, in particular, I believe this can further advance the field’s emergent multicultural perspectives.
This blog was originally posted to the New Existentialist Blog on June 25, 2013. It was republished here after the New Existentialist Blog was discontinued.
My travels across China always spur reflections on relationships and, in particular, friendship. My most recent trip earlier in June was no different. One night, my good friend Mark Yang and I, had dinner with some friends in China. One of our colleagues from China witnessed Mark and I presenting together several times over several years. She commented on how evident our friendship was when presenting together, noting this added something to the presentation. This prompted me to once again reflect upon the role that friendships have played in my life. Although friendship has been essential in each phase of my life in different ways, in this piece I am going to reflect upon three potent periods of friendship in my life.
Photo by Louis Hoffman, PhD
Graduate School: The Discovery of Depth
In graduate school, I was blessed to be part of a close group of friends who navigated the program together. Beginning in our first days, we formed a study group. While the studying was important, it was the friendships that really sustained us and helped me survive graduate school. With these friends, I first began recognizing the potential depths of friendship. In regards to my professional development, I often have said that I learned more sitting on the decks of our homes on the evenings and weekends than I did in the classroom. It was there, as we discussed what we were taught, that the lessons were learned and became real. Friendship and dialogue transformed knowledge into meaning.
During those years of graduate school, we experienced marriage, divorce, the death of a spouse, deep disappointments, and many celebrations in our personal lives. Our lives were forever changed in these vulnerable and emotional moments. Until graduate school, I had never experienced such depth of acceptance in my friendships before. Even when I exposed things I was ashamed about, I was accepted. During my period of brokenness, their friendship was even more evident. This allowed me, for the first time, to begin to discover myself on a deeper level.
Many similarities exist between deep friendships and therapy, and if everyone were able to find and maintain such relationships, psychotherapy would be much less necessary in our world today. For me, it was these early relationships where I was able to be seen and begin to see and know myself. When I see these friends today, much has changed, especially the frequency of contact, but the depth of friendship has not.
The Early Professional Years: Transformation
Shortly after graduate school, I experienced a number of challenges in my life. It was also the richest period of friendship in my life thus far. As I reflect back, I am quite aware that with many of the difficult challenges I faced, I most likely would have retreated into the poor choices had it not been for some close friends.
In this period, the friendships not only helped me continue to see myself more clearly, but they also helped me grow in my confidence and courage to be myself. I started to recognize the ways I had been who I was expected to be instead of following my own values. My friends helped me to become a more centered person. It is no mystery that during this period I also began to develop my voice. I began writing and believing that what I wrote really mattered. I wrote professionally, and I wrote personally. And I began teaching, teaching with confidence.
Since this period, I have often felt that if not for two of my friends, in particular, I may have not found my voice. Writing now is quite central to who I am as a person, and I frequently think I owe these two friends a thank you for everything I write. Without them, the words may have never had to courage to find their way to expression.
Photo By Louis Hoffman, PhD
The China Years
For seven years, I have been traveling to China, focusing on the psychology of religion and, in particular, existential psychology. My good friends Mark and Xuefu have been part of all I have done in China with existential psychology. I am proud of what we have accomplished. We have introduced existential psychology to thousands of people. I have said many times that I feel that, with the exception of my family, I make more of a positive impact on the world during my two weeks in China each year than I make the other 50 weeks. Each year, I find evidence of this reality that continues to draw me back.
When I look back at what we have accomplished, I am thankful that we have always placed the relationships and, in particular, our friendships as our top priority. In facing many challenges, it is the friendships that have helped me persevere with the work. After two successful conferences, countless presentations, a book, and much more, I realize that little of this would have happened on our own. Had each of us been working individually, we might have had an impact, but surely nothing close to the impact we have had. Furthermore, had we only been working as colleagues, I doubt our impact would be nearly as great. The friendship is the most essential ingredient.
While much of what Mark, Xuefu, and I have focused on is relevant to existential psychology and our professional lives, these friendships have impacted my life much more deeply than just the professional level. When I have encountered challenges, these two friends are consistently among those who I count on for support, encouragement, and advice.
Conclusion
It is hard for me to conclude this blog. In part, I feel I have not done justice honoring the depths of the friends to whom I have referred. Also, I feel bad that I have not acknowledged some other very important friends in my life. However, this is not because of the lack of impact these other friends have had on my life, but because I focused on three important periods in my life where friendship played a particularly important role.
Relationships, including friendships, are often hard, too. During a recent interview in China, the interviewer noted that there must have been conflicts in the years Mark and I worked together and then asked how we worked through them. She is correct. Any relationship of substantive depth has challenges. But when I look back at how these relationships have served me well, it is evident that any challenge related to these friendships is worth it. Thanks to our openness and honesty with each other, the challenges for Mark and I have been quickly worked through.
To conclude, I want to share a few lines from one of my favorite songs, My Friends, by Dar Williams.
Sometimes I see myself fine Sometimes I need a witness And I like the whole truth, But there are nights I only need forgiveness. Sometimes they say, I don’t know who you are But let me walk with you some And I say, “I am alone, that’s all You can save me from all the wrong I’ve done,” But they are waiting all the same With their flashlights and their semaphores, And I’ll act like I have faith And like that faith never ends But I really just have friends.
